I'm a junior in high school. Decisions are to be made soon and I am lost. I don't know who I am and therefore cannot choose what I want to do for the rest of my life.When I had no influence on me, I wanted to be an archaeologist. What kind of 6 year old wants to be an archaeologist!? No one showed me these ancient civilizations, I was just always drawn to them. I have concluded I am an Old Soul. Meaning I have had many lives. Let me explain.
No one in my family likes history. I've been obsessed with it as long as I remember, but I cannot stand Ancient Rome. By second grade, I had memorized the ancient Egyptian alphabet. I have concluded I was also alive when woman were very formal. ie. long hair, amazing big dresses. Because of my love for all things girly and my obsession with dresses here and from that time period. I was at a museum recently and had to remove myself from an exhibit because I was getting too close and was about to cross the line to get the dress. I was online and came to a site where the dresses were being sold. I started hyperventilating and crying. And I can't explain why.
Lastly, if you know me, you can tell I am in the wrong time period. It's just so obvious, especially to me. From the way I look, to the way I speak. I'll show my eyes and you can see I'm different. Who has eyes the colour of green moss and yellow like a summers day? Can you imagine those colours in an eye? The picture never looks like the real thing. That's why I am saving for a professional camera. I feel like I'm not supposed to be here. It is so hard to explain the pain I feel when thinking I'm in 2010. There's this deep pain in the pit of my stomach and I start breathing heavy.
I'm not supposed to be here!I know I probably sound like a crazy person, but I can't explain my feelings. I just know I want to escape from this time.
You have no idea how shocked I was when I read this.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way. I feel as if I have to dumb down, or modernize my thoughts so people can understand. I hate the fact I am in 2010 as well. I understand the wrong time period placement. I've always been drawn to history and wanted to become an archaeologist as well. I've always found myself drawn to Russian history though. I HATE ancient Rome as well. I love all other history. (American history is my least favorite though.)
i wanted to be an archaeologist when i was 7 years old, i was completely obsessed with everything Epyptian and desperately wanted to travel there. how things change.
ReplyDeletei like moderen history xo